What Should I Put Here?

Tiny drawers in an old desk, a shallow cupboard in the kitchen, a recessed well under the stairs - these are all places that clients have pointed out to me and asked, "What should I put here?" I'm as clueless as they are about what should go in those spaces. They're asking the wrong question. It shouldn't be, "What should I put here?" Instead, we need to ask, "What do I need to keep?"

The point of getting organized is not to store as much as possible within our space. The point of getting organized is to function better and feel more at peace within our space.

We start with figuring out how we want our space to serve us. What are the goals and activities we want to pursue? What items do we want in our lives? Once we have determined what we need to keep, then we can think about where to keep it. The tiny drawers in the desk could be a fabulous spot, or maybe not. They might just sit empty, and that's okay.

The "P" in S-P-A-C-E

Many organizers follow the same basic process, but Julie Morgenstern articulates it brilliantly in her classic book,  Organizing from the Inside Out. When I get overwhelmed or stuck, I still fall back on Julie's S-P-A-C-E formula:  Sort, Purge, Assign a Home, Containerize, Equalize. I teach clients the same thing, always crediting Julie, of course; but I assign a slightly different meaning to the "P." Instead of "purge," I like to "personalize" and "place perspective."

After sorting and taking stock of our possessions, we need to figure out what they mean to us in the context of our lives. We need to ask ourselves:  Do these items deserve to be in my life? How much importance do they merit? How much energy am I willing to expend on storing these items and caring for them? Are they an accurate reflection of the person I am striving to be? Do they make me feel good? Do they make my life easier? Do they help me to achieve my goals? Our answers will help us to know what we need to do with our stuff, and will lead us into the next step of Assigning a Home.

Asking the Right Questions about Clutter and Hoarding

With the popularity of the hoarding shows on cable TV, I've heard a lot of people express concern because they can identify with the reasoning of the people who hoard. Just like the people on TV, they save their items because they have sentimental value; they may come in handy some day; they're unique; or it would be environmentally irresponsible to put them in the landfill. In fact, people who hoard keep things for the exact same reasons as people who don't hoard.

So if it troubles you that you can identify with the people on the TV shows, that alone may not be cause for concern. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Am I having trouble maintaining my possessions? Do I have sufficient storage and am I able to keep track of what I have and get access to it when I need it?

• Are my possessions overtaking functional areas of my home? Am I able to sit on the couch, have dinner at the table, sleep in my bed, take a shower?

• Have my possessions overtaken my ability to engage in hobbies that I enjoy, either because I no longer have the space or I can't find my supplies?

• Am I isolating myself socially because I don't want people to see how I am living?

• Are my possessions causing tension in my relationships with my family and loved ones?

• Do I put off having maintenance done on my home because my things are in the way?

• If my home were on fire, could I reach the nearest exit in any room in the house? 

• Is the weight of my possessions causing structural damage to my home?

• Does the volume of my possessions make it difficult to keep my home clean?

• Do I feel unhappy and overwhelmed when I think about all my possessions? 

• Do I avoid my home because my possessions are too overwhelming?

The problem with hoarding isn't your rationale for keeping things. It's the degree of interference in your life that you're willing to tolerate, in order to avoid letting go. If your answers to these questions trouble you, now is a good time to consider making some changes. 

Hoarding is a progressive disorder, meaning that it gets worse over time. If you have concerns that you have hoarding tendencies, it's best to take action as soon as you're aware of the potential problem. The International Obsessive Compulsive Foundation Hoarding Center website has links to excellent self-help books and a variety of web-based support groups. You can also enlist the help of non-judgmental friends and family, or a professional organizer (preferably one who belongs to the Institute for Challenging Disorganization). If your concerns still exist after trying these measures, it may be time to seek a therapist who is knowledgeable about hoarding and its treatment. 

Stuck? Take a Break

While working with a client the other day to organize important papers, I realized a paper was missing. I searched all over, checked all the logical places and several illogical places, more than once. Started to question myself. Maybe I hadn't seen that paper? Maybe I was getting the dates mixed up?

Then my watch beeped. Time to move the car. (Here in San Francisco, lots of neighborhoods only have two hour parking). I took about 5 minutes to walk out into the fresh air, move the car, feel the wind on my face and get my heart pumping while I walked back up the hill to my client's apartment. 

I walked back into the room and took one look in a pile that I had already checked twice. Of course, there it was. Right in front of me. Right there all along. 

As someone who has a long attention span, I can work for long periods of time, but I've learned that working for long stretches is often counter-productive. I first noticed this when I had to work on a writing project and also had to get caught up on my laundry. To get all the laundry done, I was forced to get up every 45 minutes or so to throw in another load and deal with the load coming out of the dryer. 

Each time the buzzer sounded on the dryer, I didn't feel like I needed a break. In fact, I felt like I was in "the zone" or on the cusp of a breakthrough and I was annoyed that I couldn't keep working; but then I started to notice something unexpected. Each time I came back from dealing with laundry, I had a burst of inspiration or suddenly saw solutions to problems that I was having with my project. Each break helped to propel me forward and I was able to accomplish an amazing amount of work. 

The Pomodoro Technique is a popular time management technique that incorporates structured breaks into a cycle of work sessions. I haven't actually tried it, but I have my own system of making sure that I have to get up and take breaks:  I just keep drinking lots of water. Keeps me hydrated and forces me to get up and take bio-breaks every hour or so. 

Trying to work through a backlog of clutter or papers often makes us feel like we can't allow ourselves to stop until we're finished. All too often, we get stuck and decide that we're failures and incapable of doing the work, when maybe, all we need to do is to give ourselves a break. Try it!

Love Labels!

The stereotype of the organizer with a label maker in her holster isn't too far from the truth. Labels make such a huge difference. Reading one or two words on the outside of a container helps our brains to figure out exactly what's inside, even if the contents are clearly visible.

But I think the biggest benefit of having labels is how they remind us to put things away. We see the label and it beckons us to take the extra three seconds and return items to their rightful homes. Labels remove the barrier of having to spend mental energy thinking about where things go, and suddenly an overwhelming task becomes easy.

Labels are helpful throughout the organizing process, not just on the final product. Use them to label bags and boxes for projects in progress, or while "test-driving" a new system. One of my favorite products is Post-it Label Rolls. They're perfect for those times when you're not ready for permanent labels, but you want something more durable than a sticky note. But no need to be a perfectionist; masking tape and a Sharpie will do just fine, too. (I don't receive any compensation for any products I mention.)

Struggling to get started on an organizing project? Don't think too much about it. Just pick a small area, sort your stuff, assign a home for each category, and label. You can get rid of obsolete items along the way, if you like. Tell me how it goes!

Can You Use a Body Double?

I came across this article describing the use of body doubles. No, a body double isn't someone to stand in for you when you have your picture taken, at least not in this context. A body double is a person who stays present with you while you do tasks that you know how to do, but can't manage to do on your own.

Some people are embarrassed about needing a body double, because often it's the most "simple" of tasks that they just can't do without another person present. In my experience, mundane, tedious tasks can be some of the most challenging. Rest assured that you are not alone if you need extra support to do boring things like paperwork, filing, and sorting. 

Body doubling seems like such a simple thing, but it can have a hugely powerful effect. I've worked with clients who were astounded at the amount of work they got done because I was merely present with them.

It also seems like it would be easy to be a body double, but it's not a skill that everyone does well. The body double has to be in sync with the person working, often without speaking. It's about tuning in and matching rhythms, sometimes setting a pace and modeling an effective work posture; at other times, just following along and exuding quiet support. Some people have a natural ability to do this, while others find it very difficult to hold back their own impulses to take charge of the work session.

Who can you recruit to act as a body double? Friends and family are often great choices, because they may already be in tune with you. A friendly acquaintance, such as a neighborhood teen or retired senior can also be surprisingly effective.

Here are some tips for preparing someone to be your body double:

• explain that the idea is just to have a supportive presence in the room, not necessarily to lighten your work load
• ask your body double to agree not to initiate conversation while you are working, unless you specifically request it
• if you find that chatting helps keep you focused, ask your body double to keep the conversation light
• give your body double a notepad in case he or she wants to jot down an idea without interrupting your work flow
• experiment with different activities for your body double -- some may prefer the body double just sit quietly, while others prefer the body double do an activity that matches their own level of physical exertion
• don't have your body double do an activity that you feel compelled to supervise

One step removed from body doubling is what I call a Virtual Support Person (VSP). The VSP  doesn't have to be physically present with you. It can be anybody that you can check in with before, during and after your work session, who will be supportive of your efforts. Some people call this having an accountability partner.

Some people feel very overwhelmed or anxious about the work, or may not know how to get started. I had one client who told me that her stomach immediately got tied up in knots when she just looked at her mail. If this is true for you, it may be helpful to hire a professional organizer that enjoys working as a body double, but can also provide some extra support in helping you structure the work session in a way that decreases the anxiety and overwhelm you may be feeling. As you become more comfortable doing the work, you can gradually move towards lower levels of support.

I'd love to hear your experiences using a body double.

Sustaining Motivation to Get Organized

My husband and I were discussing our favorite iPhone games. We narrowed it down to psycho-motor (requires hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills) vs. logic (requires sustained thinking). I much prefer logic games that don't have a time limit. I get easily frustrated at psycho-motor games, and often give up before I get good enough to develop any skill. There have been a few games, however, that gave me enough positive feedback that I was willing to stick with them long enough until I could really excel at the game.

It got me thinking about getting organized. Many of the people who contact me want to go from no skill to excelling, without taking the time to put in the practice. This just isn't realistic. I can't turn someone into an organized person in one or two quick sessions or by virtue of a new filing system. It's my job to make the learning curve tolerable, until my clients start to experience the thrill of doing well on their own. I'm usually pretty successful, but I'll admit, often I'm not sure what it is that I'm doing right.

I'm trying to zero in on what it is that keeps people engaged. What keeps you motivated during the early phases of learning a new skill, when basic competency, let alone mastery, feels like it will be impossible to achieve?